Finding the Words

What is your end of the dialogue when you take a moment to pray? Do you recite rote sequences that lull the mind into meditative stillness, or is yours a stream-of-consciousness experience that leads your spirit from the superficial to the intimate?

I am here to confess that lately I have struggled a bit to hold up my end of things in my prayer life. I seem to lack the ability to find the words I want to say: rote recitation feels rushed and insincere, while waiting for the stream of consciousness to take over I often find myself in the depths of sleep!

Of course there are people and things about which I wish to pray, and often I can at least manage to bring those things to mind. Yet something feels lacking, and I can't help but believe it is due to my lack of bringing everything I can to the experience. This has come to be such a disheartening feeling that my prayer life has gradually winnowed down to a few "please help so-and-so" and quite a lot of "thank you" prayers flung carelessly heavenbound throughout the day. Round that out with the odd "Hail Mary" and you have...not much.

Does it count that I am grateful for the fresh air and green leaves and birds outside my window, or for the intense gratitude I feel at being entrusted with children? Is the act of my daily routine a prayer if I occasionally remind myself that it is all for God? Or is that just me lacking discipline in terms of communing with God? I'm really not sure.

I would like to break this cycle of prayer despair, and I get the sense that what I need is to shake things up, maybe try something new. I am currently reading "The Help" by Kathryn Stockett, in which one of the main characters has written out her prayers in lieu of saying them since childhood. I must admit I find that approach intriguing. Maybe prayer doesn't have to include words at all; some sing or dance or create art to pray. What about you? What are the prayer habits and patterns which allow you to enjoy a rich dialogue and intimacy with our Provident God? Please comment below--you may inspire the prayer lives of others out there who are struggling with a stale approach to prayer, myself included!